It Might Get Messy

The day before I left for Europe (see travelogue over at http://docviper.livejournal.com/), I got my feeding tube removed! For months now, I’ve been getting all of my daily calories by mouth—only using the tube to take my evening meds, and then only because I am (as Dr. H put it so insightfully) lazy. So when I went in for my oncology checkup last week, we removed it. 


To do so, Dr. H spread some anesthetic around the tube entrance, told me it wouldn’t help but it made him feel better, put on a pair of gloves, and yanked the tube out. Hurt like hell. Turns out the inside is a bulb about an inch across. Which had to come out through the quarter-inch tube entrance hole. When he pulls the tube, the bulb inverts and pops out through the whole. It was covered with my chocolate milk/instant breakfast shake goop. It hurt like hell.


I actually assumed, since I’d be flying the next day, that Dr. H would not want to pull the tube. I had this vision of getting into a low pressure environment, and finding chocolate shake streaming out of the hole in my gut. Dr. H said the whole would seal within 24 hours and flying wasn’t an issue.


He was correct. The spot hurt for a couple days, but stopped leaking a few hours after he yanked it. 


Then I flew to Europe. Where I do not have access to Instant Breakfast and chocolate milk (hell, finding ANY dairy products, except yoghurt, is difficult here). And since I was getting something like 95% of my calories via liquid chocolate milk goop, I figure this will be a challenge. I saw Bethany, my speech and oral function therapist, she says I’ll be eating diverse foods in no time. I got extra credit on my exam because I am able to eat chicken. Apparently that’s a particular challenge.


But I can’t eat very much of it. Here in Deutschland, I’ve been living on asparagus cream soup. This is white asparagus time of year in Germany. Spargelzuppe is everywhere. It varies. Some of it is thick, made with roux and white wine. A spritz of paprika. I had another one that was thickened only with pureed asparagus but had half a dozen crayfish tails swimming in it. And I had one that had a splodge of green asparagus puree on top.


I don’t know if my weight is holding up here. We walked many, many kilometers yesterday, but I did eat two-and-a-half bowls of Spargelzuppe (spilled most of that “half” bowl into my lap, had to wash my entire set of clothing in the shower last night after the soccer game). But I’m feeling pretty good. Hopefully the exercise will move me back toward fitness.


And maybe tomorrow I’ll find some instant breakfast. It’s a real pain in the ass to be in Germany and not drinking beer.


Thanks, everybody. Be sure to check out travelogue over at http://docviper.livejournal.com/, and professional blog at http://aehsfoundation.org/ . More postings from Germany coming every couple days at the former.