It Might Get Messy

In 1950, cancer in invertebrates was poorly understood. A review article [1] reported “spontaneous growths” in annelids (worms), arthropods (insects, spiders, and the like), molluscs (clams, snails), sipunculids (small rare blobby things), and ascidians (sea squirts, oddly closely related to true vertebrates and thus to people. “Oddly” because ascidians themselves are rather blobby, although not particularly small or rare), but pointed out that evidence of true neoplastic character was nearly completely lacking. 


Since 1950, it has become clear that cancers are ancient genetic artifacts and that many invertebrates are subject to malignancies (for example, bivalves, [2]). Indeed, people are hopeful (as ever) that near-magic anticancer drugs will be extracted from the marine environment for applications in human treatment.


I’m skeptical myself. It seems to me that if we’re going to find magic cancer bullets, we’re more likely to find them in our own closely-evolved-in-concert-with-our-cancers physiologies than in the remote genomes of squishy or click-clackety invertebrates. But that’s probably why I’m not a cancer researcher. 


I bring this entire arcane discussion up because I spent last week in Fort Lauderdale at a technical conference on managing contaminated sediments. Molly had a long weekend off, and she came down to vacation. On one of our jaunts to the Everglades, we managed to fulfill one of the top items remaining on my life list of things to do: find a uropygid in the wild. Uropygi are vaguely scorpion-like things that manufacture acetic acid which they spray defensively from a tube in their abdomen. They are popularly known as “vinegaroons”. 

This little lady is only about ¾ of an inch long (in my browser, if you double click on the photo, it enlarges). When she grows up, apparently she will be the size of the palm of your hand. 


Anyway. I ran out of time last Monday before I left for Florida, so I shipped a case of liquid medical food via FedX without strapping it with additional packing tape (which the office was out of, and I didn’t have time to stop at a FedX store to get the damned thing dealt with). It arrived at the hotel minus one can and wrapped thoroughly in packing tape. That’s pretty much what I figured would happen.


However. I pretty much managed to make it through the week without using my feeding tube at all. I stopped at grocery stores and bought as much Carnation liquid breakfast (and, when that was unavailable, Special K Dark Chocolate Protein Shake) as they had. Pounded down 4 to 8 bottles a day. Ate raw oysters, tuna sashimi, a few forkfuls of creamed spinach and wasabi mashed potatoes, and a bite of Molly’s incredible roast duck. Went offshore fishing on the last day of the conference, hiked for two weekend days with Molly, and only lost a couple pounds. 


I must confess I fed myself two cans of food on the last night in Lauderdale. Thought I might dehydrate after all that walking in the Florida sun and wind. Still, I left 21 cans in the hotel room. We got back late last night. Haven’t used my tube today, either. My mouth is incredibly sore (I think the thrush is back. The morning after the night I ate a few spoonfuls of clam chowder, the back of my throat was still hiding blobs of chowder. THAT’S not hygienic, although I really can’t figure out how to completely clear things out). I seem to be out of Fluconazole, for some reason—thought I had half a dozen doses left. But, since with the anti-yeast biocides it’s always a toxicology race between your liver and your yeast, maybe it’s all for the best. 


My weight was 187 this morning, and 192 before I took my evening meds (still via tube for those) last night. That’s not bad. I was up to 196 last weekend, so lost a little bit. Still, if I can get most of my calories by mouth, the last deep physiological impairment of the cancer will be overcome. Then it’s just working on my voice and getting some frickin’ exercise. 


I’m on it. As best I can be. I slept most of today. Two days of hiking the Everglades was more than my shrunken musculature can handle. But I’m on it. Full report next week. Thanks for being here—you are still making my comeback possible. PS—my “singing” voice, such as it is, seems to be returning ahead of my speaking voice. I have half a dozen songs written that need production. If I can follow the Levon Helm model and get back to close-to-in-tune croaking (and I’m not sure why I should worry about being in tune NOW as opposed to the past), I’ll get ‘em recorded and up on the web for you. Thanks again. Love to all!!!


Note Florida pix and some travelogue up over at http://docviper.livejournal.com/ . Take a visit if you have a few moments. Some pretty pix. We packed a lot into two days!!!


Notes


[1] Scharrar, B. and M.S. Lochhead 1950. Tumors in invertebrates: a review. Cancer Research 10:403. 


[2] Muttray, A.F., Schulte, P.M., Baldwin, S.A., Invertebrate p53-like mRNA isoforms are differentially expressed in mussel haemic neoplasia, Marine Environmental Research (2008), doi: 10.1016/ j.marenvres.2008.06.004