It Might Get Messy

Let’s take stock of what we, as a society, learned this year. The Higgs Boson still doesn’t exist, although deflections in the readouts make their nonexistence highly improbable. The oldest “animals” in Chinese fossils nearly 600 million years old turn out to be some kind of fungus (admittedly, it’s OLD fungus). Antioxidants don’t prevent prostate cancer. College graduates get better cancer treatment than those less well educated. And rats not only learn to liberate other trapped rats, they give them gratuitous chocolate treats.


Personally? What a year. The stuff “used to treat vaginal yeast infections” worked. The chronic pain on the deep left of my tongue is almost gone. I’m not generating nearly the volume of disgusting ropey throat mucous in the evening. My tongue rehab is making my voice at least marginally more understandable. And I can drink a 500 calorie breakfast product shake (made with whole milk, of course) in lieu of two of my cans of international emergency rations. 


So, physically, I suppose I’m climbing out of the hole. Although I’m still unable to swallow anything more challenging than cream-thick liquid. I’m also still pretty nervous about the future. Which is a good segue for this New Year’s edition. We need some predictions about next year!


Prediction 1: aliens will not contact earth. Earth will not contact aliens. Despite Discovery Channel’s best efforts, Bigfoot will not actually be encountered. See http: //www.bfro.net/


Prediction 2: none of the present Republican candidates for President will be elected. Can you frickin’ imagine? See http://nymag.com/daily/intel/2011/06/god_caught_backing_multiple_go.html


Prediction 3: anomalous weather will not be blamed on sunspots. The sun is in a period of low activity, and those annoying spots are nearly gone. Don’t worry. They’ll be back. We’re climbing out of the sunspot cycle minimum, see http://solarscience.msfc.nasa.gov/SunspotCycle.shtml


Prediction 4: the price of high-quality flash-frozen Bluefin tuna will continue to rise on the Tsukiji wholesale market, making those Australian tuna cowboys (see http://scubachronicles.wordpress.com/2008/06/20/tuna-cowboys-playing-with-14ft-makos/ ) wealthy beyond reason.


Prediction 5: the world will not end on 21 December 2012, despite the close-out of the Mayan Long Count Calender (ending the 144,000 day cycle and wrapping up the entire Mayan 5,200 year creation story). For sensible debunking from NASA, see http://www.space.com/14078-apocalypse-2012-doomsday-predictions-debunked-nasa.html . For a rather more fun comprehensive compilation of web-based sources of hysteria, see http://www.december212012.com/ .


So there you have it. Fun as it would be to check in to The Restaurant at the End of the Universe next December, we’re all gonna wake up on 22 December one day older and just those few hours wiser. I’m working on staying optimistic for the coming year, despite my trepidation. I’m running low on Xanax, though, so we’ll have to see how that goes. One thing I do know—you all are motivation for working hard toward recovery. Special shouts this week to Linda for the great photo from “the good old days”, the update from Margaret and her family, and the note from Mary. Thanks all—talk to you next week!