It Might Get Messy

Unsurprisingly, I lost weight in the Philippines. We worked long days, did some heavy walking, and my diet was limited. The night I got back I was under 200 lbs. for the first time in months. To rebuild my mass, I’ve been eating tuna and mayo on English muffins and drinking gallons of chocolate milk/instant breakfast. I’ve made it back up to 202.


I can still feel that worrisome sensitive spot on the right side of my tongue, symmetrical to the original tumor on the left. To give it a real workout, I tried a big slab of watermelon today. But it was insufficiently acid—not at all the same challenge as fresh-squeezed mango or orange juice. Still, I know it’s there.


Friday I saw Dr. N, my new radiation oncologist. The exam session was kind of stretched, they had an emergency case of some kind going in the back that needed his periodic attention. When he finally got me opened up and anesthetized, and the scope into my throat through my sinuses, the PA demanded he call “extension blahblahblah”. He simply mumbled “that ain’t happenin’” while he peered around inside. 


He says my throat is still a mess of scars and swollen tissue. Keep in mind it’s now been just about a year since they stopped washing me with radiation and chemotherapeutic toxins. It was right around this time last year that I ended up in the emergency room begging for morphine and IV fluids. You’d think a frickin’ year later that scars and swelling would have abated, wouldn’t you?


Apparently not. Dr. N looked hard, but couldn’t find anything that looked like an incipient tumor, not to mention lesion of any sort, where I’ve been imagining this itchy spot. But he’s taking it seriously. We scheduled a follow up visit 8 weeks out. That ought to give anything inclined to grow time to manifest into the visible range. Or perhaps for me to stop imagining it. We’ll have to see how that goes. 


Meanwhile, for Father’s Day we had Chinese take away, I ate a bowl of curried rice noodles and one of lo mein. Now I’m smegging stuffed. Still, I’m working on a large chocolate shake to get my evening meds down. I need to start getting in shape, that’s gonna use up calories. Thursday I stopped on the way home and shot 30 or 35 arrows, just hauling the crossbow-safe target down the range uses substantive energy. 


With all that said, as I told Dr. N, I feel better than I have in a year-and-a-half. I’ve even—and this is really weird—had moments when my voice sounded absolutely normal, like before the tumor. I have never expected to get my speaking voice back. But this gives me real hope. Maybe I will make it out of this hole whole. 


I’ll certainly keep you appraised. Meantime, there’s residual Philippines travelogue over at http://docviper.livejournal.com/, and new sustainability thoughts at http://aehsfoundation.org/ . Most of all, now that I’ve been overseas again for the first time since getting sick, I’m feeling more like a normal person. I learned a ton, maybe more than usual, knowing I might never have traveled like that again. Looking forward to the next road trip—maybe by then I’ll be able to eat something besides glass noodles!